a bittersweet anniversary-in memory of the worst job ever and my move to the South

Tomorrow marks the fourth anniversary of our departure from our home state of New Jersey. Some days it seems like it's been longer than that, and others it's hard to imagine we've been here that long. Again, 'here' is South Carolina. When I first got here I laughed at the question " Are you a Yankee or a Damn Yankee?" I think at this point I'm somewhere in between. I don't plan on staying here forever, but for the near future I shall call this state 'home'. 


How in the world did a girl and her family from New Jersey end up in South Carolina? Well, that can be a long story. The short version for now is this: Father/Ex-Husband screwed over family (after screwing secretary for months), Mother/Ex-Wife wanted a nice place to live that was more affordable. Lo and behold here we are. We were not welcomed by family or friends, we were welcome with the cold hard truth that we were not in Jersey anymore. You would think that after four years I would have gotten better adjusted to living here, but some days the differences just smack you in the face.  


My first job after arriving in South Carolina was as a waitress. At first, this sounded like a splendid idea. I would be working with people, so that meant I had the chance to make friends, and I was working in a popular local diner/restaurant (it's classified as a restaurant because they don't have diners in South Carolina, but being from Jersey, I call it like I see it) so it seemed that the money would be decent and maybe I'd learn a bit about the area. Well, I definitely learned about the area, but not in the way I had anticipated. You see, only being here for about a month I did not quite have my "y'all"s and "sweet tea" lingo in place. I decided that in this case, honesty would be the best policy and I would throw myself at the mercy of the customer. 


Maybe that wasn't the best idea. 


Here is one of the first things I've learned: the vast difference between "iced tea" and "sweet tea". "Iced tea" is the Yankee version. If made homemade, the two teas begin similar ways but what is added to them towards the end makes all the difference. Iced tea uses a moderate amount of sugar, mostly just to take the bitterness out of the tea, and almost always flavored with lemon. "Sweet tea" on the other hand, is generally without lemon flavoring and an inordinate amount of sugar (the only way  I can handle it is to pour one quarter cup of sweet tea and the rest of the cup with plain water). But I digress. 


Then, there is the language barrier. Yes, I know it's the same country but sometimes that's easy to forget. First of all, I have always had the habit of saying "you guys" when referring to a group of people, regardless of their gender. Well, one customer sitting in a booth with three other females did not waste time correcting my error. When I asked if there was "anything else I could get you guys" the leader of the pack flatly replied "there are no men at this table miss". I simply gave them an "ok" in response and once out of view, proceeded in rolling my eyes. A few other "dialect" issues that sometimes get severely under my skin (semi-illustrated): 

• that thing you push around in the grocery store and such is not a "buggy". a "buggy" is something that is driven by the Amish or something you rent at the beach . a "cart" is used to haul groceries. 

                                                Amish Buggy
       

                                           Dune Buggy

• when you get home from said grocery store, you do not "put up" your groceries. this makes no logical sense. What? do you not use the drawers in the bottom of your fridge? Unless your cat or small child is putting the groceries away, that is not "up". therefore, you put things "away", not "up"
• "Ma'am" is not a welcome greeting for most. in other parts of the country, in fact, this is an insult. Rule of thumb: if you have to still card the person for a cigarette or alcohol purchase, they are not a ma'am. if they flash their AARP card, ma'am away. 
• "fixin' to" does not make sense as a phrase for the preparation of something. fixin' is related to the word fixing, meaning to mend that which is broken. "fixin' to go out" translates to "mending the going out". what are you mending? if you "fix" dinner, what did you do to break it in the first place? 

I think I have pissed off enough people at this point. Another blog at a later time, I'm sure, will discuss the curious cuisine that is native here. I don't worry too much about it. I don't sit at home and fret that I don't have too many friends here. Not to say I haven't tried, but there always seems to be this divide. I never realized how "Northern" my ways were all the while I was in New Jersey, but it's amazing what you can learn about yourself when you are put in a new situation.